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You have your dream dress and you’re physically ready for the pageant. You’re feeling confident and excited, and then it happens. You arrive at the pageant and you see her, Patty, the national queen from the age division below you. Patty has aged up and is now in your division. Quick, what are you thinking?
If thoughts like "I’m not as good as her, why bother" or "she has this in the bag" start running through your head, STOP thinking them immediately.
Assuming that because a contestant won a prior pageant guarantees her the crown this time, is the mindset that could eliminate you from the pageant before it begins.
This thought process happens more often than you think. If you’ve ever felt like this, take comfort in knowing you’re not alone. However, if these thoughts continue to occupy your mind during the pageant, your self-doubt and lack of confidence will come through in everything you say and do. The judges and the audience will pick up on this negative energy and the crown will go to someone else.
So what can you do if you find yourself in this trap? Start speaking the truth to yourself.
Just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again.Why you may ask?
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Each pageant is different. The pageant may have a new director, or it may be held at a different time of year or location. The field of contestants will be different each year, too. Each pageant is a clean slate.
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Different set of judges look for different things. The judging panel will be different every year which means the results will vary. Judging is subjective so everyone’s opinion will be different.
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People peak at different times in their lives. No one stays the same. Everyone goes through growth and changes physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Directors, judges and contestants alike. This is just a fact of life. The only life we have any say so about is our own so focus on you.
Positive statements such as "I possess everything needed to be Miss___" and "I know exactly what I will do with this opportunity when given the chance" will keep you in a positive mindset. This will only work however, if you really believe the statement. That’s why the inner game is really where the pageant is won or lost. If you spend all of your preparation time on the outer game of hair, wardrobe, and makeup, you’re underestimating the power of your mind.
As an expert pageant coach, I make sure the contestants I work with personally have looked at their mindset because it is the most important component between feeling like a winner or feeling like a loser.
Perhaps the reason that Patty has won several titles is because she has mastered her inner game and is no longer controlled by assumptions, comparisons and negative self-talk that held her back at one time. Then again, you don’t know what is going on in Patty’s life at this moment.
Every pageant is a fresh start. Make no assumptions about the final outcome.
This week when you’re confronted with one of your assumptions, stop for a moment and ask yourself, just because this happened before, what makes me think that it has to happen again? What in your life is different now that will lead to a different end result?
Congratulations Ms. Ohio Plus America 2010- Ocipare McKinley!
Photo courtesy of Studio RM - Rick Martinez and make-up by Ryan Harris.
Key McKinley's entry for 2010 Ohio Plus America Cover Girl Competition. Photo sponsored by Studio RM - Rick Martinez and make-up by Ryan Harris.
Ocipare’s platform and passion is Autism Speaks: Awareness, Education and Action! With a daughter, niece and nephew who are all autistic, she knows firsthand the effects autism has on the family. I am so proud of Key and look forward to being a team member that’s getting her ready for the national pageant in Monroe, LA July 13-17, 2010.
Question: I don't generally get nervous before pageants, but this year I'm in a pageant with a girl who has won before and I'm scared I won't do as well. What can I do to calm my nerves?
Answer: It’s common for there to be at least one former titleholder competing in the pageant with you. For some contestants, this can be very intimidating; but it doesn’t have to be. Recognize that this is an assumption that you are making, and we all know what happens when you assume, right? Assumptions are seldom truth, so just because it happened in the past, doesn’t mean it has to happen now. There are no guarantees in pageantry, and there’s no guarantee that the former queen will win this crown. Focus on you and enjoy the experience.
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Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.