Comparing yourself to other pageant contestants will only end in defeat. When a contestant starts focusing on the other girls (or ladies), the tendency is to compare their own perceived weaknesses to another’s perceived strengths. It’s like comparing an apple to an orange. The two aren’t similar at all. They’re totally different.
Which would you choose- an apple, orange or banana? The appearance, nutritional value and taste of these fruits are completely different; and, I didn’t give you much information on which to base your decision. You don’t know if I want you to eat the piece of fruit fresh from the refrigerator, bake it in a recipe or juice it. Your decision will be influenced based on the purpose the fruit will serve.
Let’s say I wanted you to bake a pie. You would most likely choose the apple. That doesn’t mean the banana and orange are bad. They’re just not a fit for what is needed at the time. But if I wanted orange juice or banana bread, the selection would be different.
When a person starts to play the apples to oranges game at a pageant, that’s when the negative self talk sets in. All the reasons why they’re not good enough start running through their head; and they eliminate themselves from the opportunity. Or, it can go the other way. Through the comparison game, they have come to the conclusion that they’re the superior choice and they expect to win. The line between arrogance and confidence may be thin; but the energy between the two is huge and everyone can feel it.
Here’s the deal. At a pageant, you have no idea if the judges are looking for an apple, orange or banana. It’s their job to select the one person that will best represent and serve the needs of the pageant at that time. The directors inform the judges as to what qualities and requirements to look for in the titleholder.
Let’s say they’re all the traits of an apple. The judges are looking for the best apple in the bunch. You may be the perfect banana; but they’re not looking for a banana this year. They’re looking for an apple. It’s not to say an apple is better than a banana. But the apple is a better fit for the direction or purpose of that pageant on that day.
This is something you have no control over. Each year the needs of the pageant are different so you can’t say, “this pageant picks only oranges” or “I need to be an orange to win”. LOL. You can’t successfully become someone else any more than an apple can change into a banana. All you can be is the best version of you at the time of the pageant.
If you want to discover what makes you unique, contact me to get started.
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The comparison game can affect all areas of a person’s life. In comparing jobs, marriages, children, and material objects, people aren’t appreciating the unique traits about themselves. What areas of your life have you been comparing yourself to someone or something else? How’s that way of thinking working for you? Awareness of your thoughts is the first step to moving towards change, if that’s what you desire.
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Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach, an iPEC Certified Professional Coach, an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner, and a member of the International Coach Federation. She created Winning Through Pageantry® to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation, achieve winning results in life through pageantry, and to Succeed From The Inside Out®. She has over 30 years experience in the pageantry world as a contestant, judge, emcee, staff member, mother of daughters who compete, Mrs. Ohio America 2005, and has held multiple titles at the local, state and national levels.
Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com .
