One of the wisest thoughts my pageant coach shared with me when I was competing was this: in order to improve in pageantry, you need to advance to the next level of competition.

There was no way I was going to become an elite pageant titleholder if I continued to compete in small pageants where the numbers were small and there was limited competition. Please don't miss understand what I'm saying. All you really need are two strong contestants and you have competition.

However, your skills are really tested and brought to a new level when you compete with 50 or more polished contestants from across the country. I've seen it time and time again where contestants will stay at the festival or small pageant level because they feel comfortable there and generally do well. Small pageants are at the entry level position, and the numbers tend to be smaller with most of the contestants having little to no knowledge of what is expected of them. It's easier to gain confidence and win a title at this level with little to no help. It's a great place to start. That's where most people, including myself, started.

But the growth at this level is very horizontal not vertical. A contestant usually stays the same with few challenges that stimulate growth. Again, I'm not knocking small pageants. They provide a very important and needed opportunity for the mass number of contestants who want to try pageantry with minimal expense. But if you want to capture a more prestigious crown, you need to step up your game and enter the big leagues.

 
True personal growth takes place when you constantly raise the bar and keep putting yourself out of your comfort zone. Contestants need to attend and ultimately compete in a national pageant so they can see the caliber of contestants outside of their local and state pageants. There are many advantages to attending a national pageant, but I have chosen three to highlight in this article.

• Overcoming your fears. Most of the fear we experience is fear of the unknown. We think of every possible thing that could go wrong at a pageant and at some level feel we're not worthy of being there. By immersing yourself in the top levels of pageantry, you begin to picture yourself in that environment and suddenly the reality becomes a possibility in your mind instead of the impossible dream. You start to realize, if she can do, so can I.
• The standards are much higher. Everything at a national pageant is bigger including your nerves. The wardrobe, hair, makeup, communication skills, stage, lights, production and caliber of the contestants are unlike what you experience at preliminary state competitions. If a contestant isn't expecting this, it could really throw them off, and they will quickly spiral downward into the land of "I'm not good enough. Why did I ever come here?" We want to stay far, far away from this land.

• A better understanding of what is expected of the titleholder, their responsibilities, and broader opportunity for appearances and service.Riding in parades and helping with grand openings for businesses are only two opportunities for titleholders to make appearances. Some people think these are the only types of events that they can participate in. But, let's be honest, riding in parades are more of a fun PR opportunity than they are for personal growth. Your speaking and mental toughness skills are not developed sitting in a gorgeous convertible.

National titleholders are well spoken, well rounded and professional put together young women or ladies. The only way you'll improve and grow is to move up to the next level of competition, associate with people of higher standards, get out of your comfort zone, and work with a skilled pageant coach. Yes, titleholders have pageant coaches. I'm going to cover the topic of pageant coaching next week, however, please don't be deceived by anyone who tells you that they have made it to the top all on their own. It simply isn't the truth.

The cream of the crop is supported by a foundation of family, friends, hairstylists, makeup artists, wardrobe consultants, speaking coaches, directors, photographers, fitness trainers, and multiple pageant coaches. Some people use a few or all of the above professionals; but everyone has help. The label you put on the help doesn't matter. Help is help. Paid for or free. The end result is the same.

I would love to help you go to the next level in pageantry and in your life. If you're ready to take it to the next level, visit my website at www.WinningThroughPageantry.com to see how we can work together.

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My girls learned so much this past week by going to the Ohio State Fair for judging of their 4H projects. Multiple times, I heard them say, "Wow, that was a lot better than what I saw at the county level" or "Look at all the detail and depth that person put into their project. No wonder they placed so well. I'll do that next year."

You see, we need to expose ourselves to new people and opportunities for us to continue to grow and learn how we can improve. Keeping things the same is fear based, not building of one's confidence. What area of your life have you kept the same from "fear of the unknown?" What one thing could you do this week to step out of your comfort zone and open the door to possibility?

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC certified personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. She has over 30 years experience in the pageantry world, was Mrs.Ohio America 2005, and has held multiple titles at the local, state and national levels.

Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

For the person whose only exposure to beauty pageants is from what they see on television, it’s difficult to understand why anyone would choose to do a beauty pageant. After all, showcasing the benefits of doing a beauty pageant wouldn’t get the ratings that the drama does. But there are definite benefits or else pageantry wouldn’t be a multi-billion dollar industry.

Of the many benefits to participating in a pageant, I’m going to share my top five reasons.

1. Recognition.

People feel valued and appreciated when they receive recognition for their hard work. Some pageant systems offer cash prizes along with on-stage recognition for optional areas of participation such as talent, speech, commercials, modeling, community service, scholastic, letters of recommendation, career achievement and creative arts through scrapbooking, ad pages and decorating contests .

1. 2. Personal Development.

   The more a person recognizes and understands their strengths, values, likes, dislikes, beliefs, and personality style, the greater fulfillment and satisfaction they’ll experience from their life. The greatest self discovery and personal growth can come from working with an expert pageant coach who understands in depth how to use pageantry as a tool to develop the excellence within you.

2. 3. Communication Skills.

   The ability of articulate ones thoughts into written and spoken words is priceless. We live in an age where masses consider quality communicate as texting or posting an update on Face book. The skill of having a meaningful face to face conversation with another human being is being greatly diminished by technology. As an expert pageant coach and judge, I regularly encounter contestants with poor writing and verbal communication skills. This is very apparent in the paperwork that is submitted. By developing your communication skills, the relationships in your life will also develop in a life giving way.

3. 4. Confidence.

   The ability to face ones fears and take action anyway develops great confidence. It’s common knowledge that speaking in front of a crowd is the number one fear of people. Well, in pageantry there’s plenty of opportunity to get in front of large groups of people on a regular basis and develop a comfort level with being on stage. Through the interviewing process and introducing yourself to many people, your speaking skills will blossom in this arena.

4.  

5. 5. Handling Stress, Pressure and Disappointment.

   These reactions are a part of life. Your attitude and thoughts around these reactions can either move you forward towards fulfillment or break you down. Stress, pressure and disappointment don’t have to be viewed as negative things. In fact, they can be powerful motivators to accelerate you to the next level. It all depends on how you look at them. In pageantry, you will experience these to the fullest extent, and with guidance, you can learn how to flip them to work to your advantage.

Recognition, personal development, communication skills, confidence and handling the stress, pressure and disappointments in life are the benefits you’ll take with you from doing pageants. And if you really enjoy modeling, hair, makeup and fashion, oh the fun you will have learning these life lessons.

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Take a moment to list the benefits you receive from each of the activities you participate in. If you struggle to come up with benefits, decide if that is an activity you want to be spending your time doing.

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website . For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

Before becoming a full-time pageant coach, I enjoyed my years as a pageant contestant. The decades have been filled with the overwhelming joy of hearing my name called out as the titleholder many times; but the disappointment and depression of being a runner-up even more.

Wait, did I say depression? Oh yes, I did.
Few people will talk openly and honestly about this. They feel it's poor sportsmanship or it may come across as sour grapes by the fact they didn't win the crown. But I want to reassure you that it happens frequently and is a normal reaction.

For months leading up to the pageant, a pageant contestant will rearrange her schedule, move priorities around and spend precious time and money preparing for the big event. It's natural to feel a bit depression when it's all over and you didn't come away with the crown. Personally, after Mrs. America, I ate nonstop for weeks following the pageant and didn't work out for months. After watching everything that went into my mouth and working my body to the point of exhaustion, I needed a HUGE break.

The disappointment or depression didn't last long with me because I had learned some strategies along the way that helped lessen the effects of this state of mind.

• Plan an event to do right after the pageant. This can be as big or as small as you want it to be; but it needs to be something that you enjoy and look forward to. Weeks before I left for nationals, I booked appearances for the very next week after nationals. I am so thankful that I did. It gave me something to look forward to when I got home and it reassured me that I was making a difference as Mrs. Ohio.

• Write down all the positive benefits you have received in preparing for the pageant. Start a positive thoughts journal when you begin your pageant preparation. Write down every discovery and positive thing that happens to you in the months leading up to the pageant. When you look back and see the tangible benefits you've experienced in preparing for the pageant, not receiving the crown THIS TIME AROUND doesn't seem as bad.

• Keep a mementos box of your appearances. As soon as you receive a title, whether it's a preliminary one leading up to the state or the state title, start making appearances ASAP. Take pictures, save the thank you cards you receive, and keep anything that reminds you of the fun and positive effects you are having with your title.

The reality of a pageant is that only one person will be selected to wear the crown for the year; but that doesn't mean there's only one winner. Give yourself permission to feel the disappointment and acknowledge your feelings. Then celebrate the advances you've made and reset your goal.

If you're not getting the results you want on your own, perhaps it's time to seek out a coach to help you get to where you want to be. I'd love to talk with you and help you create your winning plan. To schedule a 15 minute get acquainted call, email appointments@winningthroughpageantry.com.

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Whether it's graduation, a birthday, family reunion, or any other event that requires a great deal of planning, it's normal to feel a little depressed when the activity is over. Be sure to schedule something just for yourself like a massage a couple days after the big event. Perhaps have someone take the kids for the afternoon so you can have some quiet alone time. Whatever it is, make it relaxing and something that you really enjoy so you have something to look forward to.

Question: What should I be doing one month before the pageant?

Answer: Your focus should be on maintaining your positive mental attitude (stop following the other contestants on FB), wrapping up loose end, and getting as much rest as you can before your pageant. No major changes or decisions should be left to the last month. Your entire wardrobe should be purchased and in your possession by now. The decisions of how you're going to wear your hair and makeup for each category of competition should already be done, too. Start packing by laying out each of your complete outfits with everything that goes with it –shoes, jewelry, etc. Schedule all your tanning, hair, manicure and pedicure appointments. Keep up with your fitness routine, drink lots of water and get plenty of rest.

INTERVIEW CARD

The ability to answer questions about you, your purpose, current events, and controversial topics in a clear way is an important life skill that everyone can benefit from. The more you practice, the better you will get. These handy interview cards are a great way to practice with a partner or use by yourself to get you thinking about the topic.
The Beginning 10 Questions are the staple interview questions everyone must know the answers in an interview situation. Then each month you will receive a new card in the mail with fresh questions.

Now preparing for your interview is easy and for a limited time FREE.

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website . For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

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You have your dream dress and you’re physically ready for the pageant. You’re feeling confident and excited, and then it happens. You arrive at the pageant and you see her, Patty, the national queen from the age division below you. Patty has aged up and is now in your division. Quick, what are you thinking?
If thoughts like "I’m not as good as her, why bother" or "she has this in the bag" start running through your head, STOP thinking them immediately.

Assuming that because a contestant won a prior pageant guarantees her the crown this time, is the mindset that could eliminate you from the pageant before it begins.

This thought process happens more often than you think. If you’ve ever felt like this, take comfort in knowing you’re not alone. However, if these thoughts continue to occupy your mind during the pageant, your self-doubt and lack of confidence will come through in everything you say and do. The judges and the audience will pick up on this negative energy and the crown will go to someone else.

So what can you do if you find yourself in this trap? Start speaking the truth to yourself.
Just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again.Why you may ask?

• Each pageant is different. The pageant may have a new director, or it may be held at a different time of year or location. The field of contestants will be different each year, too. Each pageant is a clean slate.

• Different set of judges look for different things. The judging panel will be different every year which means the results will vary. Judging is subjective so everyone’s opinion will be different.

• People peak at different times in their lives. No one stays the same. Everyone goes through growth and changes physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Directors, judges and contestants alike. This is just a fact of life. The only life we have any say so about is our own so focus on you.

Positive statements such as "I possess everything needed to be Miss___" and "I know exactly what I will do with this opportunity when given the chance" will keep you in a positive mindset. This will only work however, if you really believe the statement. That’s why the inner game is really where the pageant is won or lost. If you spend all of your preparation time on the outer game of hair, wardrobe, and makeup, you’re underestimating the power of your mind.

As an expert pageant coach, I make sure the contestants I work with personally have looked at their mindset because it is the most important component between feeling like a winner or feeling like a loser.

Perhaps the reason that Patty has won several titles is because she has mastered her inner game and is no longer controlled by assumptions, comparisons and negative self-talk that held her back at one time. Then again, you don’t know what is going on in Patty’s life at this moment.

Every pageant is a fresh start. Make no assumptions about the final outcome.

This week when you’re confronted with one of your assumptions, stop for a moment and ask yourself, just because this happened before, what makes me think that it has to happen again? What in your life is different now that will lead to a different end result?

Congratulations Ms. Ohio Plus America 2010- Ocipare McKinley!

Photo courtesy of Studio RM - Rick Martinez and make-up by Ryan Harris.

Key McKinley's entry for 2010 Ohio Plus America Cover Girl Competition. Photo sponsored by Studio RM - Rick Martinez and make-up by Ryan Harris.

Ocipare’s platform and passion is Autism Speaks: Awareness, Education and Action! With a daughter, niece and nephew who are all autistic, she knows firsthand the effects autism has on the family. I am so proud of Key and look forward to being a team member that’s getting her ready for the national pageant in Monroe, LA July 13-17, 2010.

Question: I don't generally get nervous before pageants, but this year I'm in a pageant with a girl who has won before and I'm scared I won't do as well. What can I do to calm my nerves?

Answer: It’s common for there to be at least one former titleholder competing in the pageant with you. For some contestants, this can be very intimidating; but it doesn’t have to be. Recognize that this is an assumption that you are making, and we all know what happens when you assume, right? Assumptions are seldom truth, so just because it happened in the past, doesn’t mean it has to happen now. There are no guarantees in pageantry, and there’s no guarantee that the former queen will win this crown. Focus on you and enjoy the experience.

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

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In the game of darts, it's important to locate the target before you start throwing. In darts, your goal is to hit the bull's-eye for maximum points. The more skilled you are at aiming the darts, the more rewarding the game will be.

The same is true in pageantry. The first step you need to take is figuring out what your real target is. Only you can decide this. Maybe it is to capture the title; but for some, it is to come from the interview feeling confident that you clearly shared your message with the judges and it was received. Perhaps, some want to make it through the pageant without their nerves controlling them. But, you need to decide.

Once you identify the target, you'll want to perfect your aim so you can hit the bull's-eye as many times as possible. So let's say you get the question, "why do you want to be Miss Fabulous?" and your answer is "I would like to be Miss Fabulous because I want to be a positive role model for the women of this country." That answer would land you on the board; but on the outer edge worth 20 point-not the 100 you need. Why only 20? Because any contestant can say this and it tells me very little about who you are.

To move closer to the bull's-eye, you're going to need to go deeper. Try these three tips to help you with your aim.

• Schedule daily time for personal exploration and growth. Even 10 minutes of daily reading from an inspirational book will get you thinking about what you value and what motivates you.

• Journal. Use a question or two to start your thought process, set the timer and start writing. You'll be amazed at what comes out.

• Work one-on-one with a pageant coach. You can acquire all kinds of knowledge through reading, but if you don't know how it pertains to you, you're not going to take action. No action means no results. It's normal to have some blind spots about ourselves. A coach can help you sort through your choices, develop a focused plan and help you to take action to move closer to your target.

If you want some help in this area, consider my A.I.M. session next Tuesday evening. In this session, I will go into depth on creating your application (or judge's bio), interview skills and message so you can hit your target with greater ease.

Go ahead and get your planner-I'll wait :). Now take a look at this week and set aside some time each day for yourself. Even if it's only 5 minutes, write it down and commit to it. Next decide what you're going to do during your ALONE time. Maybe you want to pray, read or meditate; but choose what you want to focus on this week.

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website . For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

As I start day four of sitting in a hospital room, it's amazing at how quickly a person's priorities and perspectives on life can change. Since I've been here in Nebraska, I've had many conversations revolving around the quality of life with my family. When a disease like cancer strikes your family, many of the things that stress us out suddenly seem trivial. It's amazing how major life events can help us see the big picture and reorganize our priorities to align with our true values.

This got me thinking about the "Quality of Life" within the pageantry world and some of the drama I occasionally witness. For example, some contestants will get worked up about their placement on stage, or perhaps another contestant is wearing the same dress. Focusing on small stuff like this will drain a person of their energy and lead to a low quality experience at the pageant.

What do you really want from your pageant experience? For the people who's sole focus is only on "THE CROWN", the small stuff that happens in pageantry will be an annoyance and a discouragement. On the other hand, if a person recognizes that pageantry is a vehicle to help develop leadership skills, identify core values, and live a life with purpose, well, that's an entirely different story. As a pageant coach, these are the principles upon which I work with clients.

One life lesson I've recently learned from watching my dad fight his cancer is that time is precious and very finite. There are no guarantees for tomorrow and yesterday is history. All we have is the present and we can choose the quality of the moment.

So the decision is yours. Are you going to sweat the small stuff, or keep the big picture firmly in front of you living each moment to the fullest?

Oh, that's gotta hurt! My whole body ached as I watched the Olympic skiers, one after another, get tossed around like rag dolls on the slopes the other night. Inspired by the winter Olympics and the record levels of snowfall this month, I've been talking about the blocks that get in the way of your pageant success.

Some of my favorite Olympic moments are when they do the human interest stories. I love hearing stories about how these elite athletes faced incredible challenges; and against the odds, overcame them to reach their dream. Sometimes the blocks were external; and other times there was an inner war raging. The element that seems to separate the Olympians from other great athletes is their mental approach and reaction towards the obstacles that are presented.

Two weeks ago I spoke about the outer blocks. Last week, I shared one of the four inner blocks. This week I'll cover the remaining three insiders that can get between you and success.

• Only tall, thin blondes win the crown.
• You must have expensive designer clothing in order to win.
• There's only one perfect answer to the onstage question.

These statements are examples of beliefs that some people perceive to be facts because they've heard them from friends, the media, or the allusive group of "they". These limiting beliefs, when left unchallenged, can hold you back.

Daniel Daza/Columbia Pictures

From left, Forest Whitaker, Dennis Quaid and Matthew Fox in the thriller "Vantage Point." 2008

The third inner block is our interpretation of a situation. A movie that well illustrates this is Vantage Point. It's about an assassination attempt seen differently through the eyes of the main characters. In pageantry, you may think a judge dislikes you because of the expression on his face during the interview. As a result, you avoid eye contact with that judge for the rest of the pageant. Maybe the lights in the room were giving the judge a headache and that was the reason he was squinting. You just don't know.

The fourth block is the inner critic, or the Gremlin. In the 1984 movie, Gremlins, Gizmo is an intelligent and loving mogwi as long as you don't get him wet, expose him to sunlight, or feed him after midnight.

Then one day by accident, a friend of the family spills water on Gizmo and after a painful scene several fur balls pop from his back and turn into more mogwi. These mogwi seem cute and loveable like Gizmo but they have a mean streak that only Gizmo sees. After tricking Billy into feeding them after midnight, the evil mogwi turn into cocoons overnight and later hatch out as the scaly skinned green Gremlins, led by Stripe, that become chaotic, destructive creatures.

Our inner critic can have a similar effect on us,tearing us down in a debilitating way that leaves us feeling defeated. It tells us that we're not good enough, so why bother.
Comments such as:

• I'm not pretty enough, or thin enough, or tall enough.

• My breasts aren't big enough.

• The other contestants have more experience than me.

• I'm not good enough to be a national queen.

• I've been first runner-up so many times. I just don't have what it takes.

One negative self-talk statement leads to another and another and before you know it, you have triggered an emotional avalanche capable of destroying and burying all the positive energy you had.

How many times have you seen a pageant contestant that seems to have it all, not win the crown? Chances are that it's due to one of the four inner blocks. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance; eagerness and desperation; and, enthusiasm and abrasiveness.

So when your inner voice is talking to you, is it Gizmo or Stripe? If it's Stripe, give me a call so we can work through that block to help you move forward.

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Blocks can affect every aspect of our lives. "I can't change careers because I'm too old", "I'm walking away from this relationship because there's nothing I can do", and "Why bother exercising. I'm so overweight; I'll never be physically fit again". Which gremlin, assumption, interpretation and limiting belief is holding you back? Get started today moving these blocks from your path.

Rhonda Shappert is a pageant coach, personal development life coach, and owner of Winning ThroughPageantry™, a business she created that not only helps her clients achieve winning results in pageants, but helps them Succeed From The Inside Out™ in their lives. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three,who home educates her children, has been married 20 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and is on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

You want to have a winning experience at the pageant and yet something prevents you from achieving the results you want. In last week’s article, I addressed outside blocks that may be in your way. This week, we’ll turn our attention to the “insiders”. Most inner blocks fall into one of four major types: gremlins, assumptions, interpretations and limiting beliefs.
Have you heard the old saying “when you assume something, you make an ASS out of U and ME”? LOL. Although assumptions don’t always lead to a negative outcome, they have the potential of limiting our possibilities and holding us back because we’re afraid.
An assumption is believing that because something happened to us in the past, it’s going to happen again.
Some typical pageant assumptions may be:

• I’m clumsy and can’t walk in heels (after you tripped on stage).

• The on-stage questions they ask in pageants are too hard (your mind went blank).
• The pageant judges are too critical (one judge had a sour look on her face the whole time).
• Pageants are fixed, so why bother (you didn’t win).
• Pageant contestants are unfriendly and too competitive (the girls didn’t talk to you).
• Pageants are unorganized and a waste of my time (it was a logistical nightmare).

Because an assumption is based on a personal experience, it may be harder to detach from the emotions associated with that event. However, holding onto an assumption without separating the fact from the fiction could hold you back from experiencing things that may benefit you. Just because it happened once, what makes you think that it will be like that every time?

 
Assumptions can come in big or little forms. For example, the first time I tried a particular self-tanning product, I didn’t like the results. I was streaky and the color wasn’t right, so I called the company to ask for a refund. The customer representative was very nice and asked me two questions.

 
The first she asked was if I had watched the instructional video that came with the product. No, I hadn’t watched the video. I assumed all I had to do was apply the lotion to my skin. The sales representative gently encouraged me to try the product one more time after watching the video. If I still wanted a refund after trying it a second time, she’d be happy to do so. Although I was open to trying it again, that still didn’t solve the problem of the color not being right. Then she asked me the second question.

Would I like to try one of the other tanners that her company made? Why would I want to do that? After all, I assumed that all products from that company would have the same affect on my skin. No, I had made up my mind that not only would this company’s products not work for me, I reasoned that all self-tanners were faulty and I would need to look elsewhere to achieve a natural looking tan.

 
To make a long story short, within a few moments, the new product was on the way and I had agreed to give it a second try. This time, I watched the video, followed the directions and voila- the beautiful tan I’d been wanting appeared. Had I held on tightly to my first assumptions regarding this product, I would have lost a wonderful product that saved me a lot of time and money over a five-year period.

So what are you assuming in pageantry that may be holding you back? Ask yourself, just because it happened in the past, why must it happen again? If you do pageants for any length of time, you’ll occasionally encounter the unpleasant judge or contestant; a few pageants are unorganized and questionable; and yes you may stumble a couple times. These are single, isolated events. Learn from them and move on.

How many opportunities have you missed because of assumptions you have made in your life? When you have identified an assumption that is holding you back, ask yourself, just because it happened in the past, why must it happen again? Separate fact from the fiction.

Rhonda Shappert is a pageant coach and expert, personal development life coach, and owner of Winning ThroughPageantry™, a business she created that not only helps her clients achieve winning results in pageants, but helps them Succeed From The Inside Out™ in their lives. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three who has been married 20 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and is on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

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What's Blocking Your Pageant Success? The OUTSIDERS.

• I haven't found the perfect dress yet.
• My hair and makeup choices were wrong.
• The judges didn't like me.
• I'm just not cut out for pageants.

Have you made any of these statements at the end of a pageant when you didn't get the results you were anticipating? I have. What additional comments would you add to the list? It's normal to feel some disappointment when you've looked forward to an event for so long. It may be especially frustrating if you feel your expectations weren't met. This brings me to an important question that few people take the time to ask themselves before the pageant.

What are you expecting to receive from participating in the pageant? In any endeavor you choose to follow, it's important to know what your expectations are; and how will you know when those desires are met? In other words, how do you define success? Take a moment to write down your thoughts. It doesn't have to be a novel, but list in very clear statements what you want to walk away with at the end of the pageant.

What needs to happen for you to feel successful? Making the top 15 may be a goal of yours. Maybe you want a feeling of confidence while you walk and model in 4" heels. Perhaps your aspiration is to just enjoy the pageant without feeling like a nervous wreck the whole time. Or, finishing the pageant, knowing you'd done your best and there's nothing you would have changed about the experience. Whatever your list is, write it down.

Now ask yourself, what would get in the way of having those results? Typically, the blocks will be external, internal or both. External blocks tend to be the quickest to identify so let's start there. Financial issues, sickness, a lack of proper training and time are a few examples of things outside of you that can quickly appear to get in your way. Write out your list of external blocks.

To illustrate how an external block can have differing effects on people, let's use the blizzard we had this past weekend as an example. The weather made the roads difficult, if not impossible, to drive to scheduled activities. Tasks such as cooking meals, working on the computer, doing the laundry and watching your favorite TV shows were blocked because some people didn't have electricity. Shoveling the snow not only took up time that was meant to be spent elsewhere; but, also, created a physical discomfort for some in the way of body aches and pains. How did the events of this past weekend affect your thoughts, attitudes and emotions?

For some people who didn't have shovels or snowblowers, electricity or heat, this event could have really created some stress. But, those people who had their equipment ready in the garage, had at least a week's supply of food and a backup generator, the feelings and attitude towards the storm might have be quite different. In fact, they may have enjoyed it.

What affects are your external blocks having on you in your pageant life? Are you viewing them as excuses for not getting what you want, or are they forcing you to look at the results of the choices you've been making? The blocks are neutral.How they make us feel and react will determine if we remain stuck or move forward. So, take a look at your list of external blocks and ask yourself, how are these affecting my pageant success?

If you don't have enough money to do pageants, what could you do to remove that barrier?

How important is it for you to remove this block? Rate it on a scale of 1-10, with one being "I could care less about it" and ten being "I will make this happen no matter what". Go through each of your outer blocks and rate them. What did you find? One of the advantages of working with me is once we identify your blocks; together we create a step-by-step plan that will eliminate these blocks from your path so you can move forward. It's no longer necessary to feel like you're being stopped by perceived obstacles. You do have a choice.

Next week we'll begin to explore The Insiders.

Blocks can show up in any area of your life at any time. Recognizing that the block is neutral can have a liberating affect on a person. I know it did for me. My first reaction to a block use to be a fear-based, "Oh no, what now?" The moment I really understood that all events are just that, EVENTS- neither negative nor positive, I felt immediately lighter. It was instead my reactions and feelings surrounding the events that I needed to go head to head with. What do you think about the idea that events are neither negative nor positive? Hold that thought until next week.

Congratulations Amanda Shepard- Mrs. Delaware America 2010

On the snowy evening of Saturday, January 30, 2010, Amanda Shepard was crowned Mrs. Delaware 2010 at the Rehoboth Beach Theater of The Arts, and will represent The First State at the Mrs. America Pageant in September.

With the threat of a blizzard due at any time, the 13 contestants agreed they all wanted to still move forward with the pageant and it went off without a hitch, having nearly a full theater! There were some die-hard fans there to support the ladies!

The runners-up included: Shana Williams of Newark, Tracy Friswell-Jacobs of Bear, Erin Tierney of Middletown and Francine Edwards of Townsend.

This was Amanda's second attempt at the title, having competed in 2008.
She resides in Middletown with her husband of seven years, Ben, and their two children. She holds a bachelors degree in musical theater and received her master’s in special education the day after the pageant, where she also presented the commencement speech.

To read her complete bio and see more photos of this amazing woman, follow the provided link: http://www.mrsdelawareamerica.com/mrsde.html

Rhonda Shappert is a pageant expert, personal development life coach, and owner of Winning ThroughPageantry™, a business she created that not only helps her clients achieve winning results in pageants, but helps them Succeed From The Inside Out™ in their lives. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three who has been married 20 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and is on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.