Our family of five just returned from a week at the America's National Teenager Scholarship Organization (ANTSO) pageant.

Two of my three daughters competed and I know firsthand how stressful and crazy it can be for a family at a national pageant.

We drove 8 hours to Philadelphia for the pageant and I wanted to share some tips with you that made our pageant life a bit easier this week.

Tip 1: Fill one suitcase with food. Put the food in a large suitcase for a couple reasons. First, it looks more professional than a bunch of plastic bags when you're checking into the hotel; and secondly, things won't fall out as you're taking them into the room.

My pageant food list is instant oatmeal, vacuum packed tuna, raisins, plain almonds, peanut butter, whole wheat/low sodium crackers, energy drink (Ocean Spray Cranenergy low sugar/low calorie) cases of bottled water, plain Cheerios, Goldfish crackers, and snack pack of prunes.

Except for the water, I pack this even when I fly. This food doesn't require refrigeration and will fill in the gaps with protein and complex carbs when you don't have time to eat at the restaurant, or when a restaurant isn't close enough to the pageant sight. When I drive, I also bring under ripe fruit like bananas and peaches. Trust me. You'll save yourself time, money and stress by bringing some of your own food.

Tip 2: Make sure you have AAA or some auto plan before leaving home if you're driving to the pageant. Dead batteries, flat tires and locked in keys happen more often than you think. Also, take about $200 in cash for toll roads, fast food and other misc. expenses that don't take credit cards, or if their computers are down.

Tip 3: Get food for contestants while they're in rehearsals. If you don't bring food with you, then get carry out food while the contestants are in required activities. This is a great activity for husbands, dads, boyfriends or other family members who are there to support you. That way when the contestants break, they can eat and relax a bit in the room before they start activities again. Always have bottles of water with you. You don't want the contestants to get lightheaded or get a headache due to dehydration.

Tip 4: Buy a box of gallon and quart sized storage zip lock bags to take to the pageant. Use these to organize everything from jewelry to wardrobe malfunction kits. I put all parts of each competition into a separate baggie and labeled it. You see, no one was allowed backstage at the national pageant. The contestants had to be completely self reliant and organized-even the nine year olds. Baggies will save your sanity.

Tip 5: Put some safety pins, double stick tape, tissue, and moistened towelettes in a baggie to send back stage with your contestant. Stuff happens. But if you're ready for it, the stress is almost non-existent. I always have a small sewing kit with me too.
Tip 6: Pack a small rolling suitcase, one lightweight hanging bag and extra hangers for each person that is going to the pageant.

This way, each person can handle their own luggage. Even a small child can pull a small roller bag and wear a back pack.

Write an inventory list of what is in each suitcase so anyone in the family could pack or unpack the contents to make sure nothing is left behind or forgotten. I even use to take a picture of the contents of the suitcase for my kids when they were little and couldn't read. All they had to do was look at the picture of everything that needed to be in the bag, and they could pack themselves.

Tip 7: Buy a makeup carrier that can organize and hold all of your makeup in one place. Set up your makeup area by the window in your hotel if you can. Natural light is the best source for you to get the right amount of color on your skin.

Tip 8: Consider two hotel rooms if you have young children or a large family. Contestants need time and space to prepare and get ready. If baby Sally is getting tired and fussy, dad can take her to the other room so mom can finish getting Susie ready for the competition. Or if dad wants to watch TV, he can do that and let Susie practice interview or talent without the distraction and noise. If you only have one room, then have a second adult available to take the other children out of the room to do something while your contestant is getting ready.

Tip 9: Allow extra time for elevator congestion. If your pageant is in a big hotel, you need to allow extra time to get on and off the elevators. When everyone is trying to get to the same place at the same time, this creates a problem. At pageants, you don't want to be late. When the production crew or directors say "be here at 10AM", they mean 10AM. It's better to be early than late. 10 minutes early is considered being on time. 

Tip 10: Do your complete hair and makeup for the day before you leave your hotel room. Allow for touch ups for remainder of the day. Many times in pageants there is very little time in between events. If you think you'll have plenty of time to completely do your hair and makeup before the show, think again. The only control of time you have is the early morning before the pageant schedule starts. Plan accordingly.

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Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. She was Mrs.Ohio America 2005, and has held multiple titles at the local, state and national levels. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

The pageant interview suit, swimsuit, fitness wear and gown are always the first items pageant contestants shop for. However, sometime between a couple weeks to days before the pageant, a few people hit the panic wall. They realize the pageant is here and they still have a list of outstanding pageant necessities they need to buy. In a frenzy, they drive all over town hunting for these items.
Because of the urgency, contestants (and their mothers) may experience very high levels of stress for a couple reasons:

1. The selection isn't as good, or they don't have your size or color.

1. 2. They have what you need, but you have to pay full price for it.

2. 3. You can't find what you're looking for because it's either been

3.     discontinued, out of stock or out of season.

As a former pageant contestant, titleholder, pageant coach and pageant mom, I know and understand all too well the level of stress this creates. This is not where you want your energy to be focused right before the pageant. So, where this list is by no means inclusive, it will serve as a starting point. If your intension is to compete in multiple pageants over several years, here is a list of items to keep in your closet. By shopping ahead, you can get the size and color you want, get things on sale, and rest up before your big pageant weekend when otherwise you would be spending your time zooming all over town.

SHOES

• Clean white tennis shoes with clean white socks. These are needed for the opening number and rehearsals in most children's pageant systems; and fitness wear for teens and ladies.

• Silver, black and nude open-toed strappy high heeled sandals. Realize for teens on up, the height for high heels is at least 4". These shoes are used for swimsuit and opening number productions at state and national pageants.

• Closed toe nude or neutral shoes for interview.

• For little girls, an assortment of flats in white, black and nude colors to go with your gowns. The hardest put about having a child who enjoys doing pageants is that they GROW! And, as a parent, we don't know how much or when the growth spurts are going to take place. So, what I have done for years, is when I find a pair of shoes that fits, I buy multiple pairs in a couple sizes too big. This way I have them when I need them. If they outgrow before they get to wear them, I sell them. The reason flats are great is because the child can wear the gown with an age appropriate height heel to start with. If the growth spurt takes place between state and nationals, put the flats on them so you don't have to buy a new dress.

UNDERGARMENTS

• Nude and black strapless bras.

• Nude dance trunks or body shape to wear under fitted dresses or the opening number outfit.

• White and nude camis (especially for younger girls and tweens).

• Pantyhose that match your skin tone perfectly and don't shine on stage.

• Clear straps for convertible bras.

• Silicone bra pads and an assortment of breast petals and nipple concealing items.

• Hollywood tape to secure a neckline that may open up. Remember, we want to keep it a family show.

Black leggings, white Capri pants , and a clean well-fitted white t-shirt are always good to have in your closet , too. These are seasonal items so pick them up when their available, or watch the clearance racks.
If you have a pageant coming up within the next 60 days, make your list and get it done. Your nerves will thank you.

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What have you been putting off? Tomorrow, break it down step by step as to what needs to happen and then start. Like the famous slogan says "Just Do It".

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

Before becoming a full-time pageant coach, I enjoyed my years as a pageant contestant. The decades have been filled with the overwhelming joy of hearing my name called out as the titleholder many times; but the disappointment and depression of being a runner-up even more.

Wait, did I say depression? Oh yes, I did.
Few people will talk openly and honestly about this. They feel it's poor sportsmanship or it may come across as sour grapes by the fact they didn't win the crown. But I want to reassure you that it happens frequently and is a normal reaction.

For months leading up to the pageant, a pageant contestant will rearrange her schedule, move priorities around and spend precious time and money preparing for the big event. It's natural to feel a bit depression when it's all over and you didn't come away with the crown. Personally, after Mrs. America, I ate nonstop for weeks following the pageant and didn't work out for months. After watching everything that went into my mouth and working my body to the point of exhaustion, I needed a HUGE break.

The disappointment or depression didn't last long with me because I had learned some strategies along the way that helped lessen the effects of this state of mind.

• Plan an event to do right after the pageant. This can be as big or as small as you want it to be; but it needs to be something that you enjoy and look forward to. Weeks before I left for nationals, I booked appearances for the very next week after nationals. I am so thankful that I did. It gave me something to look forward to when I got home and it reassured me that I was making a difference as Mrs. Ohio.

• Write down all the positive benefits you have received in preparing for the pageant. Start a positive thoughts journal when you begin your pageant preparation. Write down every discovery and positive thing that happens to you in the months leading up to the pageant. When you look back and see the tangible benefits you've experienced in preparing for the pageant, not receiving the crown THIS TIME AROUND doesn't seem as bad.

• Keep a mementos box of your appearances. As soon as you receive a title, whether it's a preliminary one leading up to the state or the state title, start making appearances ASAP. Take pictures, save the thank you cards you receive, and keep anything that reminds you of the fun and positive effects you are having with your title.

The reality of a pageant is that only one person will be selected to wear the crown for the year; but that doesn't mean there's only one winner. Give yourself permission to feel the disappointment and acknowledge your feelings. Then celebrate the advances you've made and reset your goal.

If you're not getting the results you want on your own, perhaps it's time to seek out a coach to help you get to where you want to be. I'd love to talk with you and help you create your winning plan. To schedule a 15 minute get acquainted call, email appointments@winningthroughpageantry.com.

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Whether it's graduation, a birthday, family reunion, or any other event that requires a great deal of planning, it's normal to feel a little depressed when the activity is over. Be sure to schedule something just for yourself like a massage a couple days after the big event. Perhaps have someone take the kids for the afternoon so you can have some quiet alone time. Whatever it is, make it relaxing and something that you really enjoy so you have something to look forward to.

Question: What should I be doing one month before the pageant?

Answer: Your focus should be on maintaining your positive mental attitude (stop following the other contestants on FB), wrapping up loose end, and getting as much rest as you can before your pageant. No major changes or decisions should be left to the last month. Your entire wardrobe should be purchased and in your possession by now. The decisions of how you're going to wear your hair and makeup for each category of competition should already be done, too. Start packing by laying out each of your complete outfits with everything that goes with it –shoes, jewelry, etc. Schedule all your tanning, hair, manicure and pedicure appointments. Keep up with your fitness routine, drink lots of water and get plenty of rest.

INTERVIEW CARD

The ability to answer questions about you, your purpose, current events, and controversial topics in a clear way is an important life skill that everyone can benefit from. The more you practice, the better you will get. These handy interview cards are a great way to practice with a partner or use by yourself to get you thinking about the topic.
The Beginning 10 Questions are the staple interview questions everyone must know the answers in an interview situation. Then each month you will receive a new card in the mail with fresh questions.

Now preparing for your interview is easy and for a limited time FREE.

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website . For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.

This is the time of year for wrapping up gifts, projects, and pageants. In 4 days, it will be a brand new year filled with opportunities, if that’s how you choose to look at it. With a seemingly endless list of tasks, appointments, final exams, shopping, travel, cooking and cleaning, stress is something some of us are feeling right now and may not be too happy about it. Perhaps what we need to feel more happiness, is to change how we respond to the stress in our life.

Change is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same. But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.

Uncertainty brings stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we really want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way. Anyone who has done a pageant can immediately relate to how much stress a contestant and her mother will experience if they feel unprepared and uncertain about the pageant weekend.

We can’t choose what happens to us – but we can choose our responses to the situations we encounter. Let’s take a look at five different responses that people may have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, think of a recent stressful event. What can your reaction to that event teach you about how you habitually respond to stress? You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.

The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events, is to suffer and be a victim of it. People who respond this way give up and don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable, they don’t take any steps to do anything about it. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. A person with a victim mentality may have thoughts like: why does this always happen to me; I should have never done this; why bother, I’ll just lose again; there’s nothing I can do about it anyway; etc. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.

The second, equally destructive response is playing the “blame game”. Here, as opposed to being a victim of circumstance, there is a negative focus on other people or events that a person feels is responsible for their disappointment. The “blame game” may sound something like this: I lost because of you; I hate this and I hate that; there’s just not enough to go around; it’s the director’s fault I didn’t win; this pageant is fixed; etc.

The third way, moving in a direction to relieve stress, is to avoid the situation. People responding this way decide not to get involved in a situation that doesn’t concern them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. People recognize the situation as a potential time bomb waiting to explode if they enter the game. For example, getting involved in pageant gossip or a dispute over the final placement of the contestants is drama that will drive your stress level up through the roof. Avoid this drama when possible.
The fourth type of response is to accept the situation, and take action steps toward a positive resolution. Someone with this response may experience the temporary disappointment of not achieving what they had initially anticipated; but they recognize in the whole scheme of things, one event does not define who they are. They appreciate the experience for what it was, and reflect on the next steps to move forward. In pageantry, that may mean selecting a wardrobe that is more flattering to them, working on their communications skills, or finding a coach that can help them eliminate the fears in their minds and quiet the inner critics so they can achieve their goals.

The fifth way people can respond to stress is to alter their attitude, or thoughts, about the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing our perceptions is probably the most challenging because we can easily become stuck in our old patterns of how we interpret the world around us. However, the ability to change our perceptions of the circumstances and people around us is perhaps the most powerful skill we can master.

It’s your world, and you can create it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another may barely notice; or see it as an exciting opportunity. How are you going to choose today? If you would like help shifting your reactions to the stress in your life, please feel free to contact at Rhonda@WinningThroughPageantry.com and we can discuss different options for you.

Have every article I write delivered directly to your email. Sign up for my free weekly newsletter. Just click the GET YOUR FREE REPORT button at the top of this page. Then fill out your name and email address in the boxes.

Rhonda Shappert is a pageant expert, personal development  iPEC life coach, and owner of Winning Through Pageantry™, a business she created that not only helps her clients achieve winning results in pageants, but helps them Succeed From The Inside Out™ in their lives. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three who has been married 20 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and is on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com